A policeman in the Medellin cartel's hometown goes to work each day with an assault rifle, a bulletproof vest and a prayer. The drug lords will pay $4,300 to anyone who kills him. So far this year, more than 130 have been slain. Policemen say they live on nerve and in fear of being the next victim. Some routinely arrive home with pistol drawn in case an assassin lurks in the shadows. Dozens of of the victims were murdered while off duty. Police in Medellin are part of a national force of 80,000 men, which is part of the military and under Defense Ministry jurisdiction. The government, which declared war on drug traffickers last year, has sent 1,800 reinforcements in recent weeks to augment the normal force of 2,600. The killings continue at an average of one a day in this city of 3 million, Colombia's second-largest. If the same percentage of police officers was killed in New York City, which has a force of 26,000, the total would surpass 1,000. An Associated Press reporter talked with 30 Medellin policemen and accompanied seven on a patrol of a dangerous part of Medellin. An officer pointed out the spots where six comrades had been killed in the past two months. ``I get scared out here,'' one said. ``I see a movement in the shadows or hear a motorcycle moving toward me and the hair stands up on the back of my neck. I wonder if this is it. I wonder if I'm the next victim.'' None wanted his name used, figuring it would be a death warrant. High-ranking Medellin police officials refused to be interviewed about the dangers their men face. The patrolmen said the drug cartel's tactics had caused 300 police resignations in three months and recruiting was difficult. ``I'm ready to quit if I don't get a transfer out of here soon,'' a 20-year-old policeman said. ``We're just statistics.'' He and the others said they were frightened, and exhausted by working up to 18 hours six days a week, but most said they would not quit. ``You can die of hunger, too,'' a 12-year veteran commented. Their families are destroyed along with the policemen. An officer's widow gets only half his $95 monthly salary as a pension, said a spokesman for the national police in Bogota. Three widows said they could not support their children on that. ``My children don't get milk, they don't get meat, they don't know what eggs taste like,'' Ruth Duque said. ``When they get sick, we just pray. There isn't any money for medicine.'' Mrs. Duque's situation is even worse because she gets no pension at all. Her husband was killed March 23, 1988, before the pension law was passed. She said she makes the equivalent of about $102 a month working in a drugstore. She feeds her son and daughter, aged 4 and 3, one meal a day of rice and beans. Colombia's minimum wage equals about $100 a month. A quart of milk costs 75 cents and a one-pound loaf of bread $1. Unemployment is over 30 percent in Medellin, according to sociologists at the local university. The government says the rate is 10 percent, but doesn't count thousands of people who mow lawns, work as sidewalk peddlers or have other part-time jobs. ``I've been looking for a job ever since my husband was killed,'' said Socorro Rua. Her husband was killed May 19 by a man who stuck a gun in his ribs on a crowded bus. Her 15-year-old daughter, Liliana, turned her head away and tears coursed down her cheeks. Mrs. Rua also has a 6-year-old son, Carlos. They live in an apartment complex built by the government for policemen. The shabby three-room apartment costs only $20 a month, but even that may be out of reach because officials have told her the pension paperwork will take a year. Another widow, Carmen Montoya, said she had high hopes for their children when her husband was alive, but ``now we just try to get by day to day. My little boy wanted a toy car for his birthday. I cried when he asked me, because I knew I couldn't afford it. They don't get anything at Christmas.'' ``My little girl used to chatter and sing all the time before her daddy was killed,'' she said. ``Now she just stares and hardly says a word. ``I asked the police department to pay for a psychologist to see her, but they told me there is no money for that.'' Mrs. Montoya has two children _ Lina, 5, and Alexander, 3. She receives about $80 a month because her husband had 20 years on the force.